​Welcome back! This is the 10th post in our series on preventing child sexual abuse.

You can explain to kids that some kinds of touches can make us feel good and we call them ‘yes’ feelings, while others can make us feel scared, or yukky and that we can call these ‘no’ feelings. Some feelings might start as a yes, but end up feeling a no like when you are on a swing and it goes too high and makes you feel scared or sick, or when someone tickles us for too long.
It is important to help kids understand that they should tell an adult about any touching which makes them have a no feeling or where there is both yes and no feelings together.
Help them understand that different people like different kinds of touch and that it is up to each person to decide what gives them a yes or no feeling (e.g. Grandma gets a no feeling from a foot massage, and I get a yes feeling. It is ok that we like different things because we ea Last week, we looked at helping children identify feelings. How did you get on with the exercises? Did you find that praising children for telling you about their feelings encouraged them to do it more? How many feelings are your children able to identify so far?
This week, we will be talking about how to help children understand the link between feelings and touch.ch get to decide if a touch gives us a yes or no feeling’).
If discussion about touching genitals comes up, remind them about the touching rules for private parts. (1. Its ok to touch your own 2. it’s not ok to touch someone else’s 3.It’s not ok for someone else to touch yours).
This week caregivers can:

• Explore different kinds of touches and ask if these touches give them a yes feeling or a no feeling? You might like to help them experience some (usually pleasant) touching (e.g. rubbing hands with moisturiser, scratching skin lightly, patting a friendly cat) and ask if that gives them a nice feeling and helping them name that as a ‘yes’ feeling? Then ask if they get a yes or a no feeling when someone punches, kicks, or hits them.
• Use this language through the week when they are hurt by someone or if they seem to enjoy some touching (e.g. “Did it give you a no feeling when your sister hit you?, “Are you having a yes feeling patting the cat?”)
• Affirm that no one should be touching anyone else in a way that gives them a no feeling. (E.g. “you told me that you get a no feeling when grandma gives you a kiss goodbye. You don’t have to do any touch which makes you have a no feeling. Would you like to wave or do a hi5 instead?”)

PS. let the child decide if something feels nice or not. Remind them that it is their body and their feelings and they can decide.

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