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HELP's Blog

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5/1/2019

Welcome back! Last week we focused on helping children feel positive about their bodies and what they can do

 
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Welcome back! Last week we focused on helping children feel positive about their bodies and what they can do. How did you find the exercises? How did you adapt them for your child/ren?
This week, we are focusing on putting in place some touching rules for private parts. This is so that children are clear about what is and is not appropriate touch. Read on for more information …
Pre-schoolers are wonderful concrete thinkers. They like to learn the rules for things and to remind us when we break them (remember that time you forgot to put your seatbelt on right away? Or that time they reminded their grandparents to ‘make it click’?).
You can use this to your advantage by putting in place some touching rules for bodies which follow them wherever they are.
Touching rules should cover who’s allowed to touch their private parts (penis, vulva/vagina, anus) and what to do if someone breaks the rules. Touching rules can give your child the confidence to say it is not ok and to tell you if someone tries to touch their private parts (we will cover this in more detail soon, in the meantime tell them that they should tell you regardless of who has done it and you will listen).
Touching rules for private parts include:
  1. Its ok to touch your own
  2. it’s not ok to touch someone else’s
  3. it’s not ok for someone else to touch yours
It can help to give them information about any exceptions to the touching rules (e.g. a doctor or nurse might touch your private parts, but I will be there with you if this ever needs to happen).
This week caregivers can:
  • Make a display chart (with the kids) listing the 3 touching rules for private parts and put it on the fridge.
  • Affirm the kids when they use the touching rules (or police them with each other) and if they tell you about any breaches (even if they are innocent).
  • Affirm that their private parts are their own, just like all the other parts of their body.
  • Let people know your touching rules wherever you go (e.g. “I should probably let you know, we’ve been talking about touching rules for private parts recently, so it might get mentioned today. Just so you know, our touching rules are ‘it is ok to touch your own, it’s not ok to touch someone else’s, and it’s not ok for someone else to touch yours’. It is leading to some pretty funny conversations but please do let me know if there is any confusion about it all. We are working on body safety stuff at the moment and I’d really appreciate your help to reinforce it all.”) 


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    Author

    Ruth Davy-Fundraising Manager, HELP Auckland

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