Practice what you would do if .....

Welcome back!
​Last week we talked about how
important your relationship with your
child is for preventing child sexual abuse (check out our post on the 1st December). How did you get on with the exercises?

We also did them, and noticed the number of times where demands on our time were split over work, kids and other things.
It seemed to help to make eye contact with the kids, even if to just say we’d be there in a moment. How did you get on?

​This week, we will be talking about how to react when a child tells us about abuse.
​
We know from research that what happens when a child tells someone about abuse is really important in their later recovery from the whole experience.
That’s why if a child chooses you as their safe person and tells you about abuse we should aim to:

• Be calm (they are watching how you react to see if they have done something wrong)
• Stay emotionally connected to the child (put aside your feelings so you can stay connected to their emotional needs)
• Listen and take what they are saying seriously
• Praise them for their bravery in telling
• Reassure them it is not their fault and that you’ll help
• Ensure that the child is safe now (if not, call the Police).

Then:

• Get help (from an agency like HELP Auckland).
• Protect the child’s privacy in the family or community (talk with HELP about who might need to know and how to tell the child about this)
• Offer ongoing love and support
• Get support for yourself (while you might be solely focused on your child, it is much like putting your own oxygen mask on before being able to help your child)

You can follow the last four points even if a child hasn’t told you directly but you suspect abuse has happened. It is important to act on abuse right away.
This week we would like to invite you to practice:

• Listening carefully and taking children’s concerns (about anything) seriously
• Thanking kids for telling you about things they’re worried about
• Telling your child that you love them and care about how they are feeling
• Letting kids know it’s good to share feelings because sometimes parents can help fix problems.​

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