If you are interested.........................why do so many survivors blame themselves following sexual abuse or assault. Katherine McPhillips, Executive Director and Clinical Psychologist, gives another excellent talk on why people should not buy into victim blaming, why childhood abuse makes people more prone to self blame, why survivors often get confused or feel shame. Only YES means YES and only adults can give consent. Click here to view the video.
#Yesmeansyes #notovictimblaming #sexualabusesurvivors
If you're interested............................
Kathryn McPhillips, Executive Director and Clinical Psychologist, talks about a common question asked by people and the survivor "Why didn't she fight back?'. There are many factors that contribute here. Kathryn gives a very insightful response. Well worth listening to. #sexualabuse #sexualassault #survivorblaming
More questions for Kathryn email firstname.lastname@example.org
Kathryn McPhillips, Clinical Psychologist and Executive Director of HELP Auckland, answers your questions. Today's question is "Why does it cut so deep?". As this is complex and different for each person we have given contact details and links to two poems which may help.
Send your questions to email@example.com
If you need to talk to someone, phone 0800 623 1700, 24/7.
"If you are Interested" starting on Wednesday 8th April Kathryn McPhillips, Help Auckland's Executive Director and Clinical Psychologist, will be answering any questions that you may have about our services or just general advice on sexual abuse and sexual assault.
It is helpful for survivors and to end sexual violence, if people know more about it. But not everyone wants to know right now, so, just if you’re interested, we are going to be answering some common questions, and letting you know some things that survivors want you to know.
Recovery from the impacts of sexual violence are harmed or helped by the actions and attitudes of the people around you. So even if its happened, you can still make a difference.
#justask #questionsanswered #ifyouareinterested #advice #sexualabuseawareness
Please send us your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org before Midnight each Monday.
Last updated 27th March 2020
The health of our HELP Auckland Clients, Staff, Contractors, Volunteers and their extended families and the community are our focus at present with the current COVID-19 Level 4 situation.
We place immense value on the trust the community gives us to not only support of women and children who are at risk or survivors of sexual abuse, but also to support the wider community who are at greater risk of sexual abuse during lockdown.
In light of the recent COVID-19 Level 4 lockdown, we have closed our offices however we continue to provide our Crisis phone line 0800 623 1700 24 hours a day. All current clients are being contacted by their therapist and provided with phone consultations. Online consultations are to be implemented. We are still accepting referrals for new clients.
To help keep you informed of how we are responding to COVID-19, we have implemented a communication strategy providing support on how to keep safe and well. This is being done through email direct mail; social media through @HelpAuckland and @DearEm; and through our blog on www.helpauckland.org.nz. You can also subscribe to our EDM through our website.
HELP Auckland’s team is meeting frequently to ensure our policies, procedures and communications are delivering the very best information on any emerging health advice and action required.
During the next four weeks you may feel a lot of different emotions. We want to support you as much as possible with tips on mental health and keeping positive.
Plan your day
We are all adjusting to a new, rather strange, way of life. This can be a risk to our mental well being.
As tempting as it might be to stay in pyjamas all day, regular routines are essential for our identity, self-confidence and purpose.
Try to start your day at roughly the same time you usually would and aim to set aside time each day for movement, relaxation, connection and reflection.
Move more every day
Being active reduces stress, increases energy levels, can make us more alert and help us sleep better.
Explore different ways of adding physical movement and activity to your day and find some that work best for you.
Even at home, there will be lots of ways to exercise and keep your body moving.
TV One has Les Mills doing an exercise class Monday to Friday at 9am and TV Two has a class for children at 3pm.
'Walk, walk, walk, walk' if you can. Keep in your bubble, 2 meters from everyone.
Try a relaxation technique
Relaxing and focusing on the present can help improve your mental health and lighten negative feelings.
Try some different meditation or breathing exercises to see what helps. For example, sometimes we can be so tense that we do not even remember what being relaxed feels like. Progressive muscle relaxation teaches you to recognise when you are starting to get tense and how to relax.
Connect with others
Staying at home, especially if you live on your own, can feel lonely. Find creative ways to keep in touch with co-workers, friends, family, and others to help you (and them) feel more connected and supported.
Explore ways of connecting that work for you, whether that’s by post, over the phone, social media, or video-chat. This could be anything, from sharing a cup of tea over video, playing an online game together, or simply sending a supportive text-message.
Facetime has group messaging options with video. Have a family get together online. Click here for a video link on how to group facetime.
Take time to reflect and practice self-compassion
Make time every day to reflect on what went well. It's important to recognise your successes and the things you are grateful for, no matter how small. Consider keeping a gratitude journal each day where you could write two or three of these things every night before you go to bed.
Give others three compliments a day in your household as well, then ask them for three compliments back.
Kindness techniques may also help you focus on the present rather than dwelling on unhelpful thoughts. #actsofkindness are highlighted on our #act2HELP page.
Improve your sleep
Feelings of uncertainty and changes to daily life may mean you have more difficulty sleeping.
There is a lot you can do to improve your sleep. Aim to go to bed and get up at the same time each day, even at the weekend if you can, and try to get some natural sunlight (by opening your curtains and windows) where possible. This helps to regulate your body clock which can help you sleep better.
Wind down before bed by avoiding using your phone, tablet, computer or TV for an hour before bedtime.
Mental Health Foundation NZ click here for more information on coping with COVID-19
HELP Auckland's services
Our crisis service remains open 24/7
0800 623 1700
Therapy services will continue online or by phone. Your therapist will be in touch.
For information about coping with sexual abuse you can find useful resources on our website here
If you are concerned you might have COVID-19, call the Healthline team (for free) on 0800 358 5453 or +64 9 358 5453 for international SIMS
Ministry of Health information here
NOPE Sisters Brittany and Johanna Cosgrove are collaborating with HELP Auckland on a Property of ME t-shirt. "There was a lot we wanted to say NOPE to - and we found a way to do that - by creating walking billboards of our clothes." explains Johanna. "It's time to empower people to understand the ownership they have over their own bodies. We want everyone to have complete freedom to make their own choices about relationships and sex," shares Brittany.
www.nopesisters.com to order 'Property of Me' Tshirts
#act2HELP | April 1st to 8th, 2020
#act2HELP is HELP Auckland’ annual fundraising campaign, encouraging people to perform an act to help, raising the awareness of sexual abuse and raise vital funds to help sexual abuse survivors to heal and live life to the full.
Complete an #act2HELP challenge to help us raise $50,000
Take Action to help and ask people to donate when you:
http://everydayhero.co.nz/event/act2HELP to create your own fundraising peer to peer individual or team page
Colour Me Purple is now the 28th October. Tickets are still for sale and those bought for April's event will be honoured.
It will be a fun and entertaining night with The Fan Brigade's very entertaining and sometimes raunchy act as well as a charity auction with something for everyone. Tasty canapes and refreshments will be provided.
Wear purple with the craziest 'purple of purple' outfits winning a prize.
$65 plus fees pp
$120 plus fees for two people
Tickets will sell fast so don't delay.
Round the Bays 2020 - will you join us?
We'd love you to join us on 8th March, as part of our Round the Bays team. Everyone knows someone who has been affected by sexual violence. That’s why we are walking, running and standing alongside each other to bring about an end to sexual violence.
Want to join our Run for HELP team? Here's how...
1. Visit our Round the Bays Team EveryDay Hero website here
2. Click 'Join Team' bottom right
3. Register yourself with EveryDay Hero or login if you have a registration already
4. You can run as a member of our team
5. Or click here if you want to start your own team for HELP (remember to choose HELP Auckland as your charity)
6. Register yourself with Round the Bays here
Once you've registered, we’ll be in touch to let you know what to do next – how to fundraise, what to share on Facebook, how to get people involved. We'll also organise some fab team bonding opportunities!
Just want to donate this time?
You can donate directly to the campaign through here.
Any questions email us and we will get back to you as soon as possible.
ProCare Foundation has awarded Help Foundation a grant to extend our Dear Em programme into intermediate and secondary schools. We will be providing 'peer to peer' sessions with our Dear Em youth workers. This is an exciting project with a target of 40 sessions this year. Huge thanks to the foundation. #ProCareFoundation
Tamara Waugh is a handy person to know in a crowd. She knows exactly what everyone around her is doing and the location of the nearest exit. While having eyes like a hawk may sound like a helpful trait to have, there's a heart breaking reason behind her hypervigilance - she's endured years of sexual abuse. She is looking for ways to escape and keep safe!
You can listen to Tamara’s story here .
Tamara is aware that this is a time where everyone is expected to be full of happy smiles and Christmas cheer, when in reality that might be extremely far away from how a survivor may actually be feeling.
There are many survivors of rape and sexual abuse who don’t see their families, which can make this time of year even more difficult because there is a big emphasis on family life.
Sexual abuse is much more common than is generally known because it is still such a sensitive subject that many people are uncomfortable admitting it has happened to them. By the time survivors are ready to ask for help, sometimes years later, the abuse may have had a devastating impact on many aspects of their life. It can affect emotions, behaviours, relationships, family life, and educational and professional achievement. Survivors of abuse may experience anxiety, flashbacks, depression, eating disorders, addictions, self-harm and suicidal feelings.
HELP can’t take away what has happened but we can help survivors find a way to move past it and lead an empowered, fulfilling life. And we can give young people (and their parents, teachers the tools to keep themselves as safe as possible from abuse. Whether you can give time, skills or money to support our work, we need you. Help us to prevent abuse and support survivors of abuse and continue supporting survivors like Tamara.
We knocked the Bridge off! What a walk / run by a team of 14. We had staff, board members, family of staff, kindergartens, students and general public supporting us. We have raised nearly $10,000 and delighted with the effort. Thank you all. You can still donate to the team now.
Art and Canape evening with Mary Kisler
Our night on the 31st October featuring Mary Kisler, Senior Art Curator, raised $10,000 for HELP Auckland.
A big thank you Kelliher Charitable Trust for hosting the event. Chef Kit Perera for chef for a night for 12 people and Paul Van Dorp with Terrace Downs for a week for four people through our live auction. Lynn Clayton Fine Art Photography for her piece of art work as well as all of the silent auction donors.
We could not have done it without you all.
The report, titled Attrition and progression: Reported sexual violence victimisations in the criminal justice system, analyses 23,739 sexual violence cases reported to police between July 2014 and June 2018. Conviction rates have NOT improved since the last report four years ago.The data showed that for every 100 sexual violence incidents reported to the police, only 31 made it to court, 11 resulted in a conviction and six in imprisonment.
Low conviction rates remain challenging especially for cases involving children. HELP Auckland would like to see changes to the court process for children. Children are put into situations as if they're small adults, and while the legislative changes are going to address that to some degree in terms of ensuring children can understand the questions put to them, it still seems that our processes are fixated on criminal justice rather than getting children safe. Jan Logie, MP, has announced changes to the court system recently and improvements are being implemented.
The long awaited Public hearing into child abuse in state care has begun.
Survivors of child abuse testified before a New Zealand state commission as the nation opened a two-week public hearing. Around 100,000 children and adults were taken from their families between 1950 and 1999. We await the results.
A support group is backing a new service to help reduce trauma for sexual violence survivors. The pilot programme, announced by Social Development Minister Carmel Sepuloni on Monday, will offer sexual violence survivors psycho-social support from Sexual Abuse HELP Foundation (HELP) as they move through the court system. It is being trialled for a year in Auckland.
HELP Executive Director Kathryn McPhillips said people entering the justice system often feel re-victimised and the programme will help people deal with those feelings. "Primarily it helps people learn to manage what's going to happen to them in that process," she told Newshub. Ms McPhillips believes the programme will make a difference and could lead to more convictions in sexual violence cases. "The right kind of support provided to survivors can mean that conviction rate rises," she said.
6pm to 8.30pm
Venue: Kelliher Charitable Trust, Parnell
Mary Kisler, Senior Art Curator at Auckland Art Gallery, will present her book on Frances Hodgkins’ life and art work ‘Finding Frances Hodgkins’. Frances was one of our most talented artists and as you can see a truly amazing spirit with her own determination and individuality during a challenging era for women.
Feel like you are travelling through Europe with Mary and Frances!! A special night not to be missed!
Auction prizes and raffle on the night.
Tickets: $75 pp or $140 for two includes wine and canapes.
Tickets through email@example.com
Legal changes to occur to support sexual abuse survivors. Ms Logie announced the changes at Auckland’s HELP sexual abuse support foundation, and its executive director Kathryn McPhillips said complainants often view the tough court process as "the second rape". Ms McPhillips called the planned changes mind-blowing.There is also a focus on judges in the changes, who would be required to intervene when there is "improper questioning".Defence lawyers are also set to get more training for work in sexual violence cases.
HELP opens new office in Albany Village to offer support sessions for people on the the North Shore. Sylvia Yandall, Crisis Team Manager, with our Kaumatua, Papa Fred, officiated at the opening on Monday.#listensupportheal
Speake: Ruth Diver, Translator
Friday 16 August, 6.30 – 8 pm
Venue: Time Out Bookshop, Mt Eden
Koha donations to HELP.
To book email firstname.lastname@example.org
Join us for a celebration of this extraordinary memoir of recovery from childhood sexual assault. A powerful new voice in the #MeToo conversation, The Little Girl on the Ice Floe is an unflinching yet luminous account of the author’s rape at age nine, her long road to recovery, and the trial of the serial rapist twenty years later. A heart-breaking, triumphant true story.
The evening will include a reading by the translator, Ruth Diver, followed by a discussion and Q&A with a team-member from HELP Auckland, the charity providing support for sexual abuse survivors.
Wine and nibbles provided. Go into the draw to receive a copy of the book signed by the author.
Need On October 20th HELP Auckland is putting together a HELPathon team in each of these categories at the Auckland Marathon. Something for everyone!
This EveryDay Hero page helps you ask friends, family / whanau, colleagues, gym buddies and the rest of your mates to support you and HELP Auckland.
After you have made your EveryDay Hero page, click here, you will still need to register yourself with the Auckland Marathon here.
Teeshirts provided for training and the event. Cheerleaders and lots of support prior and during the event. Party at finish line!!
Do it yourself or make a team. Create a crazy name and make a day of it!
You could be a ‘Me Too’ person or a 'You Too' as you will know someone!
Need more information email email@example.com
Ruth Davy-Fundraising Manager, HELP Auckland