The survivor of the St Mary's Bay attack has asked HELP to share her press statement through our site, as this statement was not released, as she had hoped for by the media, after the sentencing last week. Through releasing her statement, she hopes that through sharing that her thoughts and feelings about her experience accurately and in her own words, that this may help others. 
 

I initially thought I would write something that would be positive, showing how I did not identify myself as a victim or a survivor but a "Champion", and with a good therapist, avoid PTSD and remain resilient.  
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Yes, what happened to me was horrible.  Yet, I am wary that releasing a statement will be another 'catchy' headline that detracts from deeper societal issues.  I emphasize that the real problem seems to be partner violence.  I do not know if my experience of sexual assault and its aftermath and recovery can help those individuals and their communities.

However, I urge anybody who witnesses or experiences a sexual assault to not remain silent and suffer.  I am grateful for the Auckland Police and for their intense effort to find the stranger who attacked me. Additionally, I am grateful that the bicyclist came along at the right time and heard me.  In hard times, I am appreciative that Steven Pinker wrote these words to remind me of the good humanity can do as well as the way I choose to act for my well-being and others: 
Humans are not innately good (just as they are not innately evil), but they come equipped with motives that can orient them away from violence and toward cooperation and altruism. Empathy (particularly in the sense of sympathetic concern) prompts us to feel the pain of others and to align their interests with our own. Self-control allows us to anticipate the consequences of acting on our impulses and to inhibit them accordingly. The moral sense sanctifies a set of norms and taboos that govern the interactions among people in a culture, sometimes in ways that decrease violence, though often (when the norms are tribal, authoritarian, or puritanical) in ways that increase it. And the faculty of reason allows us to extricate ourselves from our parochial vantage points, to reflect on the ways in which we live our lives, to deduce ways in which we could be better off, and to guide the application of the other better angels of our nature.  (from The Better Angels of Our Nature)
 

Hi, I’m Nic Mason and I recently switched from being a 'once or twice a year' donor to being a regular monthly giver.

Having the power to improve the lives of others is important to me.  It’s a privilege to stand beside HELP every month and give them my consistent financial support.  Its gives me a real feeling of belonging and making a difference.

I found monthly giving simple and easy to track and budget for.  I hardly notice the difference and at the end of the financial year HELP send me an annual receipt to claim back on my tax.


To become a regular giver got to: 
donorbox.org/donate-to-help-auckland-be-part-of-the-solution

Most sexual abuse takes place within homes.

In fact, it is usually committed by someone who is trusted by the child.

At Help our therapy model involves working not only with the child but also their non-offending parent/caregiver to restore the child’s sense of safety in the world. 

At the same time we recognise that the mothers of children who have been sexually abused need as much support as we can give them too.  The anger, disbelief, shame and guilt can be so overwhelming that they isolate themselves from everyone.   
 
Research demonstrates that peer support, where interaction occurs between people sharing similar experiences, is highly effective and important in assisting individuals in coming to terms with their own experiences.
 
As  a new initiative the Child and Family Team have set up a ‘mothers supporting mothers’ group that meets for a few hours every month in the lounge at HELP. 
 
This group is for mothers who have children that have been sexually abused by their partner, husband or boyfriend.  This group is for women who have been in therapy for at least 3 months; the group being an adjunct to therapy. 
 
Our primary objective is to provide a group environment to access the support of other mothers in similar circumstances in order to

• Reduce the burden of Shame
• Reduce the burden of isolation
• Reality check
• Experience Compassion
• Share ideas
• Share coping strategies

Sharing Resources including reviewing knowledge of trauma and its mechanisms (psychoeducation)

#MeToo has started a movement and more people are getting in on the conversation.
 
NZ Herald 
By: Sarah Catherall

A Kiwi filmmaker has revealed she made a sexual harassment complaint about a camera operator while they were filming in a remote New Zealand location.

Joining the #Metoo movement, Chelsea Winstanley - wife of Thor director Taika Waititi - said the incident nine years ago has affected her work life with her seeking the safety of producing roles rather than directing.

​Chelsea Winstanley: 'Why I'm more than just Taika's wife'

Winstanley was home in New Zealand last week, from the couple's base in Los Angeles to put the finishing touches to a documentary she is producing about the pioneering Maori film maker, the late Merata Mita.

In an exclusive interview, the 42-year-old told the Weekend Herald that she was directing TV documentary, One Land.